What does it takes to be a good man and be a good father?
He was 23 undergraduate and jobless when I was born. He named me “Ann” para daw sosyalan akong pangalan (name). I grew up observing him, always looking after me. His genuine desire to be there for me no matter what. For him, I was his precious little girl and the most important person in his life.
He taught me how to build and flew my first kite. It was made of a white plastic bag, broomsticks, and sewing thread. He had to be creative since he couldn’t afford to buy a Barbie doll for me anyway. While we were flying my own built kite, I looked at his face and gushed, “I am maybe a tiny little girl, but I will never fail you, Papa.” We will make this through “together,” no matter what it takes.” The kite was soaring up and freely, high above the sky. It was like an Aha! moment for me. My dear father, my first inspiration. I couldn’t imagine myself failing him despite all his sacrifices and hard work for me.
They say love is hard, love is indeed hard. Imagine, how big and serious responsibility it is for a man to raise a child and be the primary source of strength and hope for his family. You all think it is simple! You all conclude that men are just difficult, yes they are difficult! They are having difficulty explaining for themselves. You are all blinded because you all never dig into the reality and complexity that men they are having are a hard time too. You can all laugh silly because you all think he has not done enough.
A man has feelings, often gets tired, gets confused, get scared, gets sick, and the worst lost his way. You all only see his flaws and stigmatize when he gets emotional. Instead of showing help and understanding, we often put more negative input to the one who is actually trying. When you’re a decent man, you’re unpopular. Unworthy men even gets the price and recognition.
Men are humans, not robots. A man thrives in the form of personal security and self-confidence and when he can execute smart choices for the sake of his family.
Like everyone else, he needs love and support from his family and sincere good friends. It is that hard to make a man happy. Dumb wives and lovers will never understand it!
Without those basic things, a man is nothing — a man in a no man’s world.
It is a man’s world. It’s still a man’s world, and it is tough. Men under pressure by societies endless expectations.
To my one and only father who first told me I was smart. To the person who raised me from scratch.
He who believed that someday I would grow older and will make smart choices of my own.
I may be a difficult child in my unique way. It is because you learned me from the start, I can be somebody.
It is still so hard, Papa, to think smart and do good deeds at the same time. I wish it were that simple.
Smart choices are always hard. Sometimes it breaks your heart. How can anyone still be smart and be brave when it comes to lost?
But my promise is still a promise. I will never fail, even if it takes me a lifetime to do so. I’ll strive hard to make a difference.
Even if the earth collides with the moon. You know, I’ll do the mission impossible for you.
I miss you, and I love you with all my heart.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
*the girl who was raised like a boy by her father