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Perhaps I have a high tolerance for pain. Keep yourself alive. You have the power to do anything. The grown-up Christmas Wish This is my wish for the next 20 years for our youths who have dreams and families who want to


    What does it takes to be a good man and be a good father?   He was 23 undergraduate and jobless when I was born. He named me "Ann" para daw sosyalan akong pangalan (name). I grew up observing him, always looking


"It is health that is real wealth. And not pieces of gold and silver."


OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker/Pilipino sa Ibayong-dagat

"Once you are born poor, you'll always feel poor. Otherwise, you have forgotten who you are."
I was born and raised in a small barangay in Tagbilaran City, Bohol. Life then was relaxed and seemed so simple. As a girl, I was always the positive type who had dreams, and my first inspiration was my parents, whom I love so much. I was often told it is crucial to finish your education. Perhaps you can work abroad. Overseas was the goal, everybody's goal. I grew up observing several relatives of mine and neighbors enjoying quite better life conditions compare to regular Filipinos who stayed, work, and live in the Philippines. If you want to build an extravagant house, buy a car, and support your family, all you have to do is work abroad. Everybody says, "You can always do and achieve better overseas." It also means that investing your time and effort doesn't even count at all, here in our own country. It sad but I always look back to the version of me before all of this shining achievements. There will always be that part of me that stays and feels the same. The girl who had dreams and had so much passion for everything. I was 22 when I had my first international flight. I was given one time opportunity to come to Europe. After I finished my bachelor's degree and worked for some time in a design company, I told myself this is not gonna work for me. Pilipinas, I am so sorry, but I had so many high hopes since I was a little girl, but I cannot keep a job with a minimum salary working 8.00-17.00 daily. I just knew that my dad got "diabetes" and how will this go for my other young siblings and me? I cannot afford to send him for treatment. My parents both work still it was tough. I am not sure about myself being smart, or will I make it out there at all? I was dealing with so several negative feelings at the same time, it was difficult to describe. I am the only hope of my family, I cannot face them crying and confuse. I would lie and tell them I am brave if I could.   I will never forget that day, I stood in Hongkong Airport waiting if the damn flight personnel will let me board my plane. I had the passport and the right visa. I wasn't trying to do illegal. I felt pity at myself, I felt so small. The desperate me begging for a little chance. I swear to the heavens above, I will do whatever it takes. I already sold the bed I bought. Now I am standing in line waiting for a Go signal. I felt so scared, but I have to live. I have nothing to lose. The small Asian girl who came from the unknown small town trying to enter the big fancy continent of Europe.  It is a simple thought that many of us have to accept that you have to work far like "nomads" no fix home and address. We always wish to survive, and if there is no source of income at home, then you find it anywhere else. First, we educate ourselves and later on choose a job that could hopefully fill up our basic needs. In the Philippines, like many people, experienced it. No work is easy to find. No salary is enough to pay and support your needs. You are in debts already before you even receive your first paycheck. In addition, your family is your responsibility. You spend endless nights being threatened and worried. How can you survive for the next 6 months without enough means (money) to support yourself and family. People think about money, only a lot of money. How about passion and interest? Money can only buy "Convenience." "Convenience" is a form of achievement which comes from hard work. Having it convenient is good. It's confusing to know what really matters the most. If you are a man, you'd be most likely become an engineer or a seaman. When you are a woman, you'll study caregiving course or nursing travel and move to Canada or the USA. It seems like society expects one should leave the country.

Life is full of terror. Terror, Terrorist, Terrorista!

This is Ann (Ann-e) coming home year 2017 after almost a decade, fantastic and fiercely exhausting years of being away. This is like "Fifty Shades of Grey" just with a twist that Ann-a (Anastasia Steele) come to a realization "I'd kinda like it rough." Despite the Abu Sayaff terror threats, I decided to fly home according to plan. I just completely lost my sense of fear. What actually bothered me that time, is that how will I survive as a person for the next two-three months. I still have plans and responsibilities. I achieved most of my goals for my family. My brothers already finished their education and got jobs. My mother got a permanent teaching job at the local elementary school. I got married and recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I almost had it all and done it right as best as I possibly could. My dad passed away just like that, and now everything is a mess. Oh my, I realized I kinda missed a lot. I have been away consistently. I forgot how it feels to feel at home. I was only able to sleep 4-5 hrs daily. I am catching naps during the day, so I won't collapse. I am always tired, irritated, I hated my own schedule. I consumed 3-4 cups of black coffee already at 9.00 in the morning. I felt like everybody is putting so much pressure on me and more and more things for me to do and fix. I was burned out! Great! I was so excited about these terror threats. I booked my plane ticket and hotel one night I was still awake around 1.30 in the morning. I needed another strong feeling aside from feeling so anxious. "The problem is that I couldn't grieve the exact time and the exact place." Thinking about my father, who died about four months ago, was hard. I didn't fly home when he was sick, I never held his hands and said goodbye to him. This is it! This is where and when I mean, I can't take it anymore! It was like when I was a little girl. Everybody expected me to sing and dance and put a great show. People only expect the best performance, but the audience failed to see the real person behind the curtain. The person who wants to entertain everybody but was always anxious, nervous, and alone. I should be celebrating when I know in the back of my head. I have made it through, ten years of rough and challenging years of being away. Those times I've been wild and unstoppable. I always expect that I can win anything with flying colors, every single negative/positive challenges in my life. I was patient, rigid, and so psyched to conquer it all. I am still am, but now actually feeling so tired! I don't like it when I can't do and give my best.

"If it happened that I was Snow White, without resist, take the apple with poison from the Evil Queen. Then I will sleep freely for a thousand year."


My dearest mother Lynnie We both know, we had it rough since the beginning I wish our love and relationship can be like in fairy tale We will both end up with our happy endings You often said to me, life is challenging. I didn't

Note: Philippine presidential election 2022

Corruption is dangerous to your health and existence

Shock, confuse and hurt. You then realized and find yourself in a place between lost and happiness. Stagnant in a state of emptiness, spinning around in a roller coaster of emotions. Suffocating in every life's expectations. Further, you lose your sleep, wake up dizzy and find it hard to even start the day.

You end up questioning your faith and existence. How unfortunate life has been? You open your eyes from nightmares but find rescue and meaning from people who are still there. Life is hard but beautiful. You always have the freedom to make the right choice. You have a rational mind and a heart of steel as your most excellent powers. Personal abilities that allows you to foresee, assess and finally understand. Remember that your life is worth saving. Get back on track, fight and win the game of losing yourself. - ang probinsyana -

Mr. Rufino 1963 - 2016

My dearest people in the Philippines who are dumb, corrupt and delusional.

You should all be ashamed of yourself! Together you created an army of shameless emotionless and incredibly double-faced cult and killed an innocent man. A son of a war veteran who fought during World War II. Remember how many lives we already lost and will be losing again and again from this endless emotional battle? When he died, nobody wants to take the blame. Leaving all his children hurt and sad. I wonder how you all sleep at night knowing deep inside in your system, you are all rotten? You all claim yourself decent, educated and sadly religious. Cheat and hypocrites! You all blame that it is God's will that he ended in such an inhuman (no compassion and merciless) situation? You all self-destructive imbeciles! You all think this is some kind of a joke? Many innocent people rely on your honesty so we can actually build trust. You are all by means from heaven to hell sick in mind, heart, and soul. There is no cure for your unhealthy behavior, and you shouldn't be allowed to thrive. Genetically, you all have bad genes. Corrupt people have low intelligence plus lacking emotional capacity to foresee what is right or wrong. Meaning to say, by religion (belief between good and evil) and by science (theory in knowledge and society) you are all wrong and wicked. You all base your conclusions on your selfish evil perspective about life. Sorry not sorry, but I don't see any future in all of this mess. Child molesters and social psychopaths. Evil individuals who can't stand a fair competition. Sayang sa mga remittance gipalada sa mga OFW tapos wlay padulngan ni tanan. This is hard for the other remaining honest Filipinos nga until now still have hopes and dreams nga atong country molambo. The Philippines, the most beautiful country in the world! Pero unethical country in many ways. I'm sad because I love you. The worst, you all don't see the truth yourself. The ability to self-correct or self-criticize ba since we tried back and forth many times to signify things. Mga sungayan mo tanan! Super evil na shock si Satan makig compete mo sa iyang throne. Wla namoy self-respect ug mga naay learning disability, no capacity of understanding the present and future. Dapat in the present time, we are enjoying peace and prosperity unta. Maibog mo sa other countries ngano dato sila? Wealthy countries, they love their own people. Sa ilaha there is sense of "quality of life" Para ba naay continuity sa hard work and sacrifices from this generation to the next. You have been doing it all the wrong way. There is no wealth when there is no peace. Inyong ka dato "fake" kay gikan sa kurakot.